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How
to Overcome
Loneliness Sorrow Anxiety & Grief
by: Pastor Max Solbrekken, D.D. |
HOW
TO OVERCOME ANXIETY, SORROW GRIEF & LONELINESS
“The
Spirit of the Lord is upon Me for He hath anointed Me to preach the gospel
to the poor; He hath sent Me to heal the broken hearted, to preach
deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set
at liberty them that are bruised.” (Luke 4:18)
ANXIETY
GRIEF & LONELINESS
These
three go hand in hand: loneliness, anxiety and grief and sorrow.
The
loss of a loved one through death is nearly always a very traumatic
experience. The feelings of loss, anxiety and grief can overtake a person
almost completely. Loss of a spouse or parent, through a
divorce, can be even more shattering. And the loss of a friend, lover or
business associate through other agencies of disruption, tends nearly
always to leave people with hurt feelings, a wounded spirit and
scars. People become filled with fear and anxiety while they try to
deal with their grief, sorrow and pain.
The
hurt and lonely feelings that people feel after being jilted or dumped and
the end of a relationship can be devastating and bring feelings of grief
and depression.
LONELINESS
& FEAR CAN BRING SUCH DESPAIR TO PEOPLE
The
feelings of being shut out, isolated, abandoned or discarded can brings such a
loneliness and fear that people don't know what to do. It’s not
only the victim who suffers, however. In the long run, nearly everyone
involved in a split, including children, relatives and friends of the
parties can be emotionally damaged. This damage can last for years
and develop into feelings of hatred, depression and loneliness. It
becomes hard for some people to love and trust again after being hurt by
divorce, separation and relationship breakups.
HOW
DO WE COPE WITH THESE FEELINGS OF LONELINESS, ABANDONMENT, FEAR, PAIN AND
ANXIETY IN THESE SITUATIONS
The
Bible, that true time-tested ‘Book of Books’, gives us good advice for
all of life’s problems! There is an answer to the frustrations, upsets
and turmoil that often inflict great pain and sorrow. We need only to turn
to God’s Word to find solace, comfort and strength! Christ, indeed, is
the answer!
FOR
OVER 40 YEARS AS A PASTOR I HAVE COUNSELED THOUSAND OF PEOPLE WHO ARE
EMOTIONALLY SHATTERED
During
40 years of sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ - 22 years as a pastor -
and constantly having to counsel and give spiritual guidance to people, I
have discovered that there is nothing that can compare with the Bible in
times of stress, depression, anxiety and hurting people.
The
late Doctor Jim Tanasiuk, shared with me how the gospel helped his
patients. After surgery his patients would often ask for sleeping
pills. He usually replied: “Have you read the Bible?” If they
indicated that they had not, he would get a Bible out of the nightstand,
saying: “Why not read a portion from the Holy Scriptures and if you are
still awake when I make my rounds later tonight, I’ll give you a
sleeping pill.”
“Usually,
when I come by a half hour later, most of them are already asleep”, said
the good doctor. He had learned about the peace that God gives through His
Word, from his godly parents, Dorothy and William Tanasiuk.
The
Bible says: “Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by
prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known
unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall
keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4: 7)
Being
anxious about ‘whatever’, causes anxiety attacks. Anxiety
attacks are the root cause of so many other psychological, as well as
physical problems.
An
old Gospel song says: “Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them
there. If you trust and never doubt, He will surely bring you out. Take
your burdens to the Lord and leave them there!” The Bible states:
“Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it
to pass.” (Psalms 37: 5)
JESUS
said: “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the
world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let
it be afraid. (John 14:27) “These things have I spoken unto you, that in
Me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of
good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
WHY COULD JESUS MAKE SUCH A STATEMENT?
The
Answer: “But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made
nigh by the blood of Christ, for He is our peace…” (Ephesians 2:
13,14)
Jesus
said: “Let not your hearts be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also
in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions: If it were not so, I
would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and
prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto Myself;
that where I am, there ye may be also.” (John 14:1,2)
His
disciples were troubled at the thought of Jesus leaving them, but He
calmed their fears by telling them that He would return for them when the
time was right. He also stated: “…and lo I am with you always, even
unto the end of the world. Amen.” (Matt.28: 20)
“And
I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He
may abide with you forever, even the Spirit of Truth; Whom the world
cannot receive, because it seeth Him not, neither knoweth Him: but ye know
Him; for He dwelleth with you and shall be in you.
JESUS
SAID, "I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU COMFORTLESS
When
you are alone, frightened and full of despair, Jesus promises that he will
not leave you comfortless. You can be reassured that someone cares,
because Jesus will not abandon you.
“I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you. Yet a little
while, and the world seeth Me no more; but ye shall see Me: because I live
ye shall live also.” (John 14:16-19)
Jesus
said that He and His Father would come to us in the Person of the Holy Spirit.
(John 14: 21-23) How can that happen? God is triune and omnipresent at all
times!
There
is nothing more comforting, beautiful and powerful than to be filled with the
blessed Holy Spirit of God. The sweet peace and the presence of Jesus Christ,
which the Holy Spirit brings to a believer is undeniably greater and more
wonderful than any human experience. He is in us, with us and around us - in
good times and bad times, in sorrow and joy and in sickness and health!
Just
the thought of the RETURN of JESUS CHRIST, is enough to put our hearts at ease
and fill us with hope, comfort and joy! That He will return is a certainty, even
though “we know not the day nor the hour”!
The
Bible says: “For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with
the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ
shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together
with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be
with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words” (1 Thes.
4:16-18)
With
St. John - the beloved apostle - we say: “Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”
(Revelation
22:20) Hallelujah and Praise the Lord. Amen!
PEACE IN THE MIDST
OF THE STORM
“But
the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was
contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on
the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled,
saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake
unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.” (Matthew 14:
24-27)
Jesus
had “constrained His disciples to get into a ship, and to go before Him to the
other side, while He sent the multitudes away.” (Verse 22) These disciples
were in God’s will, when trouble came to them. They were obeying Christ’s
command when the storm came suddenly, seeking to destroy them!
But
before that could happen, Jesus appeared in their darkest hour - the fourth
watch of the night - with deliverance from heaven! They had rowed all night and
had gotten nowhere, when Jesus came to them “walking on the water”. They
became frightened, supposing that they seen a ghost!
JESUS
spoke to them, saying: “Do not be afraid. Everything is alright! I’m here to
save you. Be of good cheer, it is I.”
Here’s
an amazing truth: Although Jesus is presently seated at the Father’s right
hand, He is still with us in the Person of the Blessed Holy Spirit. All we must
do is trust Him to keep His promise, namely, “never to leave us or
forsake us”, and to be with us “always, even unto the end of the world.”
(Matthew 28: 20; Hebrews 13: 5)
That
is why, we as Believers, can smile through our tears when death of a loved one.
And we can still sing and praise God, when our hearts are hurting because of
some tragic events, and it seems like the ‘bottom has fallen out’ from
beneath our feet!
We
know, we can call upon the name of the Lord and He will hear and answer our
prayers, because He is God and can be trusted! We run to Jesus with our
problems, and He smoothes out the troubled waters and brings a calm into our
hearts and lives!
He
said: "Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will
give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me; for I am meek and
lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is
easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-29)
MESSIANIC
PROPHECY: FULFILLED
BY JESUS
In
the Nazareth synagogue - where He had been brought up - Jesus read
Isaiah’s
messianic prophecy, declaring its fulfillment in Himself: “The Spirit of the
Lord God is upon Me; because the Lord hath anointed Me to preach good tidings
unto the meek; He hath sent Me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim
liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord…” (Is. 61: 1,2)
The
Bible records: “And He began to say unto them, This day is this Scripture
fulfilled in your ears.” (Luke 4: 21) He declared that He was Messiah, the
Christ and Son of God! He had come to preach the Gospel, to heal the sick,
wounded and brokenhearted and to set the captives free!
As
Messiah, He was proclaiming that the ‘Gospel Age’ had begun, and all
Satan’s slaves could go free! There would be deliverance from sin, sickness,
fear and the powers of darkness. Blind eyes would be opened, deaf ears unstopped
and those bound by demon spirits would be liberated!
The
acceptable year of the Lord was the spiritual fulfillment of the ‘year of
jubilee’ which the Hebrews had celebrated every 50 years, as a type of the
coming ‘Dispensation of the Holy Spirit’ and God’s grace, through the
sacrifice of JESUS CHRIST- His Son - on the cross for the salvation of the
world!
When
Jesus read from Isaiah 61, He did not read the last clause of verse 2, which
speaks of the Messiah coming with “the vengeance of our God.” That is
reserved for the great ‘day of judgment’ which is also called, ‘the day of
the Lord’. (Joel 2:11,31; Acts 2:20; Mal.4: 6; Jude 6; Revelation 6: 17;
16:14)
In
order for us to understand what happened in the synagogue that day, we refer
back to the ‘Year of Jubilee’: “And thou shalt number seven Sabbaths of
years unto thee, seven times seven years; and the space of the seven Sabbaths of
years shall be unto thee forty nine years.
“Then
shalt thou cause the trumpet of the jubilee to sound on the tenth day of the
seventh month, in the day of the atonement shall ye make the trumpet to sound
throughout all your land.
“And
ye shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land
unto all the inhabitants thereof; it shall be a jubilee unto you; and ye shall
return every man to his possession, and ye shall return every man unto his
family. In the year of this jubilee, ye shall return every man unto his
possession. Ye shall not therefore oppress one another, but thou shalt fear thy
God: for I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 25:8-55)
Each
year on the great ‘Day of Atonement’, the high priest had the duty and
privilege of entering into the very ‘holy of holies’ - where the presence of
God
dwelt - with the blood of a sacrificial animal. In that August Presence, he was
obliged to sprinkle the blood upon the mercy seat of the ‘ark of the
covenant’, for the atonement of the sins of Israel.
Every
fiftieth year, the ‘Year of Jubilee’ was ushered in by the blowing of the
trumpet proclaiming freedom for slaves and prisoners, the canceling of all debts
and the return of properties to their original owners.
The
‘Year of Jubilee’ could not begin, however, until the ‘Day of Atonement’
had been fulfilled. Innocent blood had to be shed at the altar and sprinkled on
the mercy seat in God’s presence, before freedom could ring out in Israel for
the prisoners, slaves and financially strapped people! Sins had to be atoned
for, before jubilation could come!
Standing
up in the Nazareth synagogue, Jesus pronounced Himself the Messiah, which meant
that He had to fulfill the ‘Day of Atonement’ - shedding His blood as the
perfect ‘Lamb of God’- before the Gospel Age could begin by the outpouring
of the Holy Spirit!
Fifty
days after His crucifixion,
Jesus poured out the ‘gift of the Holy Spirit’ upon 120 praying disciples in
the Upper Room in Jerusalem, and the Gospel Age - the Dispensation of the Holy
Spirit’ - had begun. Sinners were saved, broken hearts mended, the sick and
diseased were healed and great blessings of peace and joy filled their hearts!
How
long will ‘the acceptable year of the Lord’ continue? The Bible gives us the
answer: UNTIL JESUS RETURNS! “Then
Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of
Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the
Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you and your children, and to all that are
far off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.” (Acts 2:38-39)
“For
as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death
till He comes.” (1Corinthians 11:26)
So
long as God is calling sinners unto Himself and we are partaking of the holy
communion - emblems of Jesus’ broken body and shed blood - that is the
duration of the ‘Dispensation of the Holy Spirit’ known as the Gospel Age or
the ‘Acceptable Year of the Lord’!
Jesus
Christ is the “same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrew 13:8), therefore, He
is still forgiving sinners, giving joy, peace and new life to those bound by
fear and torment. He is still healing broken hearts, broken spirits and broken
bodies and freeing Satan’s slaves by His life-giving blood, the authority of
God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit!
He
is still liberating the captives through His servants and handmaidens, who
preach His glorious gospel. The ‘Year of Jubilee’ is still here. The Gospel
Age is not yet finished. It will not be over till Jesus returns!
WHAT
TO DO, WHEN WE LOSE A LOVED ONE THROUGH
DEATH
There
are no easy solutions or quick fixes when it comes to bereavement. It is proper
to grieve, but,
“not like the heathen who have no hope”. (1 Thessalonians 4:13) I believe
that God heals our broken hearts through His Word, the presence of the Holy
Spirit and the passage of time! We have hope beyond the grave, for our trust is
in Jesus Christ, Who has “abolished death, and hath brought life and
immortality to light through the gospel.” (2 Timothy 1:10)
When
the emptiness, sorrow and pain lingers on, my only advice is to cast
yourself upon the grace of God and allow Him to be your burden bearer. Ask the
Holy Spirit to be your counselor and peace giver! Here is what the disciples of
John did after his terrible martyrdom: “And his disciples came, and took up
the body, and buried it, and went and told Jesus.” (Matthew 14:12)
In
reality, that is all you can do! Loved ones and friends are great, but only
Jesus Christ can heal the wounds of death! Trust Him and He will do it!
Jesus
stated: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that heareth My word, and
believeth on him that sent Me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into
condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. Verily, verily, I say unto
you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the
Son of God: and they that hear shall live.
“Marvel
not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves
shall hear His voice, And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the
resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of
damnation.” (John
5:24,25,28,29)
Verses
24 and 25, deal with sinners “dead in their trespasses and sins”, who are
able to repent, call upon the Lord and be saved! Verses 28 and 29, however, deal
with those who have passed away-righteous and unrighteous. They will hear the
voice of God, and come forth in either the first or second resurrection. All
will be raised from the dead to receive their just rewards!
St.
Paul exults: ‘O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The
sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God,
Which giveth us the victory, through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 15:55-57)
One
day soon, in the fullness of time, Jesus will return to rapture His Church and
judge the living and the dead! We will see Him face to face and “tell the
story, SAVED BY GRACE”! We will then, have fought our last battle with
the devil, the world and the flesh!
What
a day that will be! In the meanwhile, we have job to do for Jesus. May we not
fail Him, is my prayer. God bless you, my friend, reading these lines. He loves
you and is calling for the lonely, discouraged, bereaved and weary soul to come
to him!
Jesus
said: “Come unto Me, all ye who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you
rest.” (Matthew 11: 28) And that’s what this world needs - God’s rest and
peace!
Answer
His call now, my friend? I sincerely pray that you will.
Links
to: Addictions,
help for
alcohol & drug addictions
Grief
- Wikipedia encyclopedia
Grief
- Resources and information
grief death sorrow and loss
Grief
Recovery programs
BBC
HEALTH - Addictions
information center
Anxiety
- Health Information on
anxiety fear - resources and
help for anxiety fears phobias
Anxiety
- Wikipedia
encyclopedia
Anxiety
Disorders Association Freedom
from Fear - website
Find
the latest news stories, overviews, research and more on Phobias
from MedlinePlus, the National Library of Medicine's consumer health
site.
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/
phobias.html
American
Psychiatric Association
Let's
Talk Facts About . . . Phobias. "My heart starts beating so
fast . . . it feels like it's going to explode. My throat closes and I
can't breathe. I start to choke. My hands start sweating. ... Phobias
affect people of all ages, from all walks of life, and in every part of
the country ... reported that 5.1%–12.5% of Americans have phobias.
They are the most ...
www.psych.org/public_info/
phobias.cfm
NMHA
MHIC Factsheet: Anxiety Disorders - Phobias
...
Anxiety Disorders. Phobias. Everyone feels anxious or uneasy from
time to time ... a panic attack or severe anxiety. Specific phobias
strike more than 1 in 10 people ..
www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/
35.cfm
Useful
Information On Phobias And Panic
Internet
and CD-ROM Publisher on Health and the Environment. ... Useful
Information On Phobias And Panic. (posted by Hopkins Technology)
... The Varieties of Fear. Phobias take many forms. Some people
are terrified of dogs, even tiny ...
www.hoptechno.com/book48.htm
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